1. I wrote quick takes last night to be posted today, but woke up and decided that they weren’t sufficiently “genuine” (whatever that means) and, in a fit of high moral fiber, deleted them. This is especially sad because I had laboriously linked to about twelve of my favorite songs on youtube, and now you never get to hear them ever.
2. So, while Cisco reads Little House on Some Kind of Landscape to Snert, I’m going to bang these out because Quick Takes have kind of grown on me and I feel left out. Speaking of Snert, I’m really hoping he doesn’t do tonight what he did last night. He spent close to an hour standing right next to my head in the middle of the night flopping and sighing, and quieting down just long enough for me to doze back off before whispering “Moooommmm, can I just sleep in your bed?”
To which I responded “Go to bed. One, twooooooooo…” in my sternest whisper, because what can I say? Motherlove comes naturally to me.
3. My sister-in-law gave me an adorable little bowl and a sassy pair of earrings as a belated birthday gift today. I like big earrings. They feel all exotic and more-fun-than-I-really-am. When I was little my mom had a pair of clip-ons (she still wears clip-ons to this day, despite the fact that they hurt like a “B”) that were really really big Pepto Bismol-pink maple leaves. They were so awesome. I remember sitting on the bunk bed at my cousin’s lake house, a pile of my mom’s earrings between us, bargaining fiercely for those maple leaves. So beautiful.
4. Not really, they were way eighties and pretty ugly. But apparently nobody caught on to the inherent awfulness of the eighties until after the fact. If you ever want to feel good about your current wardrobe, no matter how dire, just think for a while about yoke-waisted purple corduroys and flowered mock-turtlenecks. And stirrup pants and scrunchies, and all of those totally cliche looks that we sometimes forget ACTUALLY HAPPENED. Don’t you feel better now?
5. Happy day-late birthday to my four-year-old, always rosy nephew. You are sweet and smiley and I love the way you talk like a very earnest cave man and roll your big eyes around in your head, and smile all the time, and put your shoes on the wrong feet and always have saggy pants. You are a peach and I love you.
6. Snert loves you too, but at the moment he’s carried away with jealousy over all your birthday presents. He told me despondently before bed, “Mom, can I get all new toys? I just don’t like to play with mine anymore.”
To which I responded “Go to bed. One, twooooo….” because, see number 2.
7. Ha ha last one! I did it. I feel like I’ve just been very genuine, which translates to “no content”. As a parting gift, please check out Pomplamoose. They are funny and weird, and their old videos are addictive. You probably already know them from whatever car commercials they were in, but you should know that I liked them way before that. Don’t they make you want to get all artsy and play a tiny piano in your attic?