Wild Animals, Sort of Quickly.

1. A couple of weeks ago we went to Denver to attend Cisco’s uncle’s wedding. It was a real swanky affair, and the food was fantastic. I felt it was my moral obligation to eat as many lamb chops as I could, but don’t worry. I took breaks for truffled fries and prime rib. The low point of the evening was when I walked into the ladies’ room and found that I had large red spots all over my face. I spackled myself with concealer, and luckily the spots faded after a while… allergic reaction? I most sweetly asked Cisco if he might inform me the next time that happened and he said, “Oh sorry, I thought those were… already there.”

Nice.

2. In other, less exciting Denver happenings, Cisco found some dude’s World Series something-or-other schmancy ring in the men’s restroom, and I saw a bear (tracks). See?

Just so you know, my foot is huge, so that’s a really big bear. Cisco thinks it’s a horse print, but have you ever seen a horse with claws? And don’t even ask where I got my shoes. You can’t afford them.

Here’s the ring, because Cisco would want you to know that it was FOR REAL.

He didn’t keep it. He just took pictures of it on the bathroom counter, and then some guy got all weird and said he’d give it back to its owner.

2. The day before the wedding, we drove up to Rocky Mountain National Park. Photos don’t do it justice, but it was spectacularly beautiful. Also cold. Also, we got altitude sickness up there at the top. I found myself desperately wanting to take a nap on the gift shop floor. It was the best day of our trip, though, and I wish we lived by the mountains.

(Cisco is not an angry person – I think he was just feeling too manly and outdoorsy to smile. He’s probably thinking about how he’s going to kill a wolf with his bare hands.)

3. Things with “the Pet” are escalating. Yesterday Snert came home from school, checked on his ant (the ant is the pet) and, as he ricocheted off the walls exclaimed, “Having a pet is sooooo fun!!!”

Sooooo pathetic.

Maybe Snert was just excited that the ant was still alive, since I had to fess up that no, I hadn’t “checked on it a couple of times” that afternoon. Disgusting negligence. This morning I was instructed to “give it a drink of water”, and this evening Snert was calling it “Buddy” and making noises people make at babies. Cisco tells me it really is time for a dog.

Your MOM is time for a dog.

4. Do you switch out your closets and dressers seasonally? Our closets are tiny, so off-season things have to go in storage bins in the basement. That makes it sound like we have tons of clothes, but we don’t. Our closets really are just that tiny. Anyway this situation means that twice a year I lug three storage bins up two flights of stairs, wash and switch everything out, and lug three storage bins back down the two flights of stairs. Without dying, because I am clumsy (in an adorable, romantic-comedy type of way).

Actually, that’s what is supposed to happen. In reality I lug three storage bins up two flights of stairs, empty everything on to my bed, kind of start to empty drawers into bins but get sidetracked cleaning up dust-antelope herds, and give up ten minutes later when I can’t see for the sneezing. Massive piles get moved from my bed to the lids of bins every evening, and back again the next morning; give-away bags get started and never finished, and Cisco develops a chronic twitch in his right eye.

This can go on for weeks. It’s that time again now, and I’m very confident that I’ll have it finished by Christmas.

5. If you’re a no-dairy or gluten-free weirdo like me, Trader Joe’s is your place. You probably already know that, but in case you don’t they have gluten-free, dairy-free brownie mix, and totally awesome coconut milk ice cream in strawberry and chocolate. I am writing about this out of the generosity of my heart, and not because it’s that time of night where I want to eat my arm off with dessert cravings.

6. My sister gave me an issue of Real Simple magazine, and they had a huge spread on universally flattering make-up. It was mostly useless, since I will not be paying $28 for a tube of lipstick unless it simultaneously tints and waxes my lip for me (um, not that I need it to). There were two brands in there that were affordable, though, so I’m passing them on to you so you can buy them and be beautiful. Apparently Maybelline makes a classic red lipstick called “New York Color Sensational Lipcolor in Red Revival” that doesn’t go all scary pink or orange. Also it has “Magical Anti-Sticking-To-Teeth technology”, which might disappoint you if you’re a high school math teacher.

See that? That was a heartless generalization. My personality doesn’t improve after 9pm. And that bit about not sticking to teeth was a lie. They don’t advertise that.

The other product was an eyeliner by L’Oreal Paris called “Extra Intense Liquid Pencil Eyeliner in Black”, and I don’t care about this subject any more so that’s all I’ll say about that. Both of these products are clearly legit because they have at least seven words in their names.

7. I just went to borrow Cisco’s phone so I can upload pictures, and found him looking very guilty. He refused to tell me what about, but opening up his browser confirmed my worst suspicions:

“You’re now in the process of choosing a dog breed that will suit your lifestyle, personality and requirements…”

I think we need to break up.

Have an awesome weekend, and go see the rest of the Quick Takes at Conversion Diary!

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3 thoughts on “Wild Animals, Sort of Quickly.

  1. You are so beautiful! I would say the same thing about your hubby, but then that would be just weird. 🙂 Sounds like a great trip and the ring story is cool! Did you figure out who the player was?

    • shucks, that’s nice, Marie. And Cisco’s ridiculous, I know. It’s not weird if you say it. No idea who the ring belonged to… apparently there were rings “everywhere” that night. Lots of foot/base/ketball people?

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