Happy Fails

Hello hello! How is your Summer? My thoughts are of Pretty Things, Goals, Talents, Joys, Music, Summer! Isn’t this fabric pretty? It’s from my latest issue of House Beautiful.


Let’s talk about failure:

1. In the car yesterday, I was trying to explain to Snert that it’s rude to yell at people, even if “they make you so mad!”. He argued and argued until I lost my temper and yelled – just as we stopped at the bicycle crossing. It must have been confusing for the cyclists because no one ever gives them the right of way, and here was this nice lady stopping for them, except that she wasn’t nice but terrifying.

I realized immdeiately that I was an enormous hypocrite, and apologized for yelling (even though he “make me so mad!”).

I fail.

(Snert is a pudding most of the time. This is the paper heart necklace he made me for Mother’s Day – 100% his own idea and labor)

I'll eat you up, I love you so.

I’ll eat you up, I love you so.

2. In the kitchen this evening, I was mending fences before bedtime: “I’m sorry I’ve been short-tempered lately. I will try to get control of my temper. And you, honeychild, must stop arguing every last thing and start saying ‘Yes, Mom.’ Even if you disagree with me.”

So then we argued about that, which made me want to scream because he “make me so mad!”

Actually, I couldn’t even get close to yelling because the dog was trying to hump Snert’s leg the whole time. Revolting comic relief or something. I gave up and called it a night because I fail again.

I am here to wreck your life.

I am here to wreck your life.

3. Everyone at airports fail. Well, most women at least. I only fly every couple of years or so, but we took a quick trip to Texas last weekend, and I did not get the memo that junderpants and (semi-sheer? really people, those things are never opaque over your trunkage) leggings are the norm for the under-forty crowd. Everywhere. They were everywhere. All I could see for miles around was bottoms.

This is to replace that image in your brain.

This is to replace that image in your brain.

4. Oh, and Cisco fails. Or rather the world fails him. He had a rough day at work, bad traffic on the way home, arrived to find that the dog had destroyed one of the outdoor couch cushions, and then got a dent in his car playing catch with his loving, argumentative, squealing family. Things continue as they do, idiotic.

Remind me to have a talk with Cisco about blog anonymity, because this is getting stupid.

I’m so proud.

How you doing?


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