Snert had his sort-of first day of school today. It was just an hour, and the parents got to stay and fill out forms while the kids colored pictures and learned a song, and Snert informed everyone that he can write “Mom” and “Dad”, and that “Peregrine Falcons can go 200 miles per hour.” He said a whole lot of other things, too, because I forgot to give him the Only Child Talk, in which I break the news that he doesn’t get to be listened to whenever he wants. Oh well, that’s the teacher’s problem now.
A couple of kids got teary, and one little boy lost a tooth right in the middle of picture-sharing time (luckyyyyy), but Snert held up ok. Moms gave each other relieved looks and said things like “I’m so glad it’s finally here.” I can’t even pretend to understand what they’re talking about. I’m thinking maybe it’s not too late to home-school Snert. We could spend hours a day at the dining room table – laughing and learning and chuckling and chortling, and having snacks every fifteen minutes. We will be Best Friends Forever until one day he can’t take it (me) any more and runs off to get angry tattoos and join a jug band. I’ll sit at the dining room table well in to my senile years (which started yesterday) giving confused lessons on mitosis and pushing snacks across to his empty place.
My main goal for “school” starting was to Not Be a Freak, so I think I can call that a loss.
Anyway, now that we’re home and Snert has changed out of the vile clothes I made him wear (shorts and a polo shirt) and into something more fashionable (shorts, zipped-up-sweatshirt-with-hood, black socks and holey shoes), I can look at the situation dispassionately and say that kindergarten is awesome and I wish I could go. Everything is small, there are pictures of Jesus and Mary everywhere, and the teachers are much nicer people than I am. They talk low and slow, and say too-mor-row in three whole syllables. They say things like “Being kind to people is goooood,” and “What a lovely rainbow you drew!”
I would like to take a nap in the play house.
Happy Monday! I’m going to take Snert and his cousins to the pool because my sister is pretending to be sick. Happy Monday!